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How to overcome grief in seven steps

Overcoming grief is a highly individual and complex process that varies from person to person. However, there are some general principles that may help in navigating this challenging journey. We've combined the Kübler-Ross five stages of grief with Cloe Madanes' therapeutic approach to provide a more holistic perspective on overcoming grief, in seven steps:

1. Denial (Kübler-Ross):

- Acknowledge and Express Emotions (Madanes): Allow yourself to recognize and express the denial stage emotions. Seek support to express your feelings openly.

2. Anger (Kübler-Ross):

- Connect with Others (Madanes): During the anger phase, connecting with friends, family, or a therapist becomes crucial. Share your anger and frustrations with someone you trust.

3. Bargaining (Kübler-Ross):

- Focus on Positive Change (Madanes): Identify areas in your life where positive changes can be made. Channel the energy from bargaining into proactive and constructive actions.

4. Depression (Kübler-Ross):

- Redefine Your Identity (Madanes): Use the depression stage as an opportunity for self-reflection. Consider redefining your identity and values to align with your present situation.

5. Acceptance (Kübler-Ross):

- Create Rituals for Healing (Madanes): As acceptance begins, establish rituals or routines that contribute to your healing process. These rituals can provide comfort and structure.

6. Setting Future Goals (Madanes):

- Look toward the future and set realistic goals for yourself. This aligns with Madanes' emphasis on positive change and creating a sense of purpose.

7. Self-Compassion (Madanes):

- Practice self-compassion throughout all stages. Understand that overcoming grief is a unique journey, and being kind to yourself is an essential part of the healing process.


Combining these models underscores the importance of acknowledging and expressing emotions, seeking support, making positive changes, redefining identity, and practicing self-compassion throughout the stages of grief. It emphasizes a comprehensive and adaptive approach to healing. Remember that overcoming grief is not about forgetting or erasing the pain but finding ways to integrate the loss into your life. It's a gradual journey, and seeking professional help when needed can be beneficial. Everyone's experience with grief is unique, so finding approaches that resonate with you personally is crucial.

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